Oh...Smokers !!!

Sometimes, yes sometimes, I wonder why people smoke. What the fun? Few say to kill time, others –when they are in tension, and many more just like that. All have read warning on the cover “smoking kills” Or “smoking is injurious to health” or Tobaccos cause cancer”, but they won’t kick the butt...Ok, let me light a cigarette and then think...what you just laughed!!! Come on!!! Oh...Didn’t I mention a breed, who smoked so that they could think. Anyways...It happened with me around 14 years back. I was in love with a girl. 100% dedicated love. And all from my side. She probably never had feelings for me. This is what I feel now. Back then I thought, probably she also liked me. As all youngsters think. So did I express my love? Of Course, Yes. I expressed it. First the expression of willingness to get into a friendship with her. But probably it was too late to convince her. As it was the last day of her college and she was leaving for her hometown soon. And look at the romantic place I choose to tell her. It was a stationery shop, and she was with her friend. Bookseller was looking at me, as if I was a ghost, that too straight from “the tales from the crypt”. Anyways...as I said It was too late. As she stayed right in my neighbourhood, I was quite afraid of going back to my house. I was sure she would have told either to her landlady or to my landlady about the adventure I indulged myself into. Yes Adventure!!! Because in a small town of India, being in love or even in a friendship, does not take time to become the talk of the town. And frankly I was more worried about the girl. I didn’t want people to think odd about her. I was dead sure that I would be thrown out of the house by my landlady. Huh...But It didn’t happen. The girl was matured enough. She didn’t say anything to anybody. After a week or so she left for her hometown. I had my exams on. So somehow I studied & appeared for my exams. And passed too...trust me with good grades. I don’t know how it happened. Anyways, that is a different story.
So after completing my exams, I arranged a job for myself in her town and headed straight there. I took a letter for her. NO. NOT FROM ME. It was a letter from her landlady, which I had managed to make them write for her. So now I had an excuse to meet her. Since the envelope had her address written on, it was easy for me to venture into her home. But who would have dared entering the lion’s den. (I knew it was stupid of me.) So I started following her. I used to wait for her right from 8 AM till 4 PM, and watched her. When sure of her schedules, I met her one day, when she was on her way back home. She took the letter. Just few formal words. And then, the expression of love. Of course I did that. She was quite understanding. She didn’t ignore my feelings bluntly, but tried to make me understand that since we both were from different casts (yes that is one serious problem here in India), it was not proper for us to think about being in love. I pleaded but she said no with a gentle smile on her face. I was crying inside, but didn’t know how to make her understand. I followed her and requested her for some more time, but to no avail. She told me that she was engaged, and I am trying in vain. But the way she told that, I could understand, she said so, for I couldn’t try further. She left. I kept watching her. Thought she would look back at me. But that didn’t happen. It was not a movie after all. She reached her home. And I turned back to go to the place where I had arranged my stay. I couldn’t sleep the whole night...probably many numbers of nights.
Few more days passed. I thought of leaving that town and concentrate on my career and come back when I was eligible enough (Ah...this material world) to propose her. So I left for Mumbai- the Megacity with ample opportunities for all. I tried hard to get a job, got the same within a month, and then worked hard to afford a comfortable (if not lavish) lifestyle. Trust me I achieved all that within a years’ time, which many people could just think of.
That day, I was very happy. I had been assigned the responsibility to design a project to start a Resort on 13 acres of land in the outskirts of Mumbai. I thought that after completing that project, I would go back to that girl’s town, and try to express myself again. Plans were full on. I reached my home. It was a sea facing apartment in south Mumbai (ya, I'm exhibiting ostentatiously). As I was about to open the door, just thought of checking my letter-box. There was a letter. It was from one of my friend who happened to be her acquaintance also. It was special for me, as I knew it would read something about her too. So I stood at the door, opened the envelope and SHATTERED....I WAS SHATTERED!!! It carried an invitation of her marriage. It was on that very day. My friend had mailed me that, so I could reach there on time and do something about that. But it came late. All hell broke loose. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t open the door of my apartment and slowly with dying feet left for the seaside. Sat there. The Heart was crying. The Brain was blank. I saw a group a youngsters standing near me. They were smoking. Cigarette stall was just next to me. I went, bought one and smoked. For the first time in my life, at an age of 26.
With the passage of time, I tried forgetting her. I am married now and a father of 9 year old darling girl. I am happy and content with my family. But today when I light this cigarette, I still remember her...Smoking doesn’t let me forget her...Cigarette butts keep telling me that they are not biodegradable...